DORAYAKI FLASH

hi guys,,back to the english section....
OK,, after report text the last meeting,,now we come for bring the example of spoof text....
we believe that all of you very interest about spoof..... yeah,, this is it.....



The Zoo Job Story
One day a clown was visiting the zoo and attempted to earn some money by making a street performance. He acted and mimed perfectly some animal acts. As soon as he started to drive a crowd, a zoo keeper grabbed him and dragged him into his office. The zoo keeper explained to the clown that the zoo's most popular gorilla had died suddenly and the keeper was fear that attendance at the zoo would fall off. So he offered the clown a job to dress up as the gorilla until the zoo could get another one. The clown accepted this great opportunity.
So the next morning the clown put on the gorilla suit and entered the cage before the crowd came. He felt that it was a great job. He could sleep all he wanted, played and made fun of people and he drove bigger crowds than he ever did as a clown. He pretended the gorilla successfully.
However, eventually the crowds were tired of him for just swinging on tires. He began to notice that the people were paying more attention to the lion in the next cage. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he decided to make a spectacular performance. He climbed to the top of his cage, crawled across a partition, and dangled from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this made the lion furious, but the crowd people loved it.
At the end of the day the zoo keeper came and gave him a raise for being such a good attraction. Well, this went on for some time, he kept taunting the lion, the audience crowd grew a larger, and his salary kept going up. Then one terrible day happened. When he was dangling over the furious lion, he slipped and fell into the lion cage. The clown was really in big terrible situation. He was terrified.
Sooner the lion gathered itself and prepared to pounce. The clown was so scared. He could do nothing and he began to run round and round the cage with the lion close and closer behind. Finally, the lion could catch him. The clown started screaming and yelling, "Help me, help me!", but the lion was quick and pounces. The clown soon found himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and suddenly he heard a voice from the lion’s mouth;"Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?".

goat-jumping-into-deep-hole

Two men were walking through the woods and come across a very big deep hole. "Wow...that looks deep." One replied,"Sure does... toss a few pebbles in there and we will see how deep this hole is." Then they pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait... no noise "Geeez. That is really deep... here.. throw one of these great big rocks down there. Those should make a noise." After that, they pick up a couple football-sized rocks and toss them into the hole and wait... and wait. but no noise they heard.

Wow.. They were really impressed with how deep hole it was. They look at each other in amazement. One gets a determined look on his face and says, "Hey...over here in the weeds, there's a railroad tie. Help me carry it over here. When we toss that sucker in this hole, it's must make some noise."

The two men drag the heavy tie over to the hole and heave it in. But, not a sound comes from the hole. Suddenly, out of the nearby woods, a goat appears, running like the wind. It rushes toward the two men, then right past them, running as fast as its legs will carry it. Suddenly it leaps in the air and into the hole. The goat disappeared into the deep hole.

The two men are astonished with what they've just seen. How could a goat jump into the hole? Then, not long after that, out of the woods comes a farmer. He seemed to seek something and asked to the two men, "Hey two guys... have you seen my goat out here?"

Feeling amazing with what they saw of a goat jumping to the hole, they answer straightly,"You bet we did! Craziest thing I've ever seen! A goat came running like crazy and just jumped into this hole!"

The farmer thought a moment and said, "That could not have been my goat. Because my goat was chained to a railroad tie." Then he left the two men.

The Spying parrot
A guy was having marital problems. He and the wife were not communicating at all and he had lonesome so he went to a pet store thinking a pet might help.
In the store he came to parrots. As he wandered down the rows of parrots he noticed one with no feet. Surprised he mutters "I wonder how he hangs onto the perch?"
The parrot said "With my prick, you dummy."
The guy was startled and said "You certainly talk well for a parrot."
The parrot said "Of course, I'm very well educated. I can discuss politics, sports, religion, most any subject you wish."
The guy said "Gee, you sound like just what I was looking for."
Then the guy bought the parrot and for three months things go great. When he came home from work the parrot told him about the recent and hottest news.
One day the guy come home from work and the parrot waved a wing at him and said "Come in and shut the door."
The guy said "What's up?"
The parrot said "I don't know how to tell you this, but the mailman came today. I saw that your wife answered the door in her transparent gown and he kissed her right on the lips."
The guy said "He did? Did you see?"
The parrot said " Yes, Then he pulled her gown down... and ....."
"My God, what happened next?"The guy said curiously to know next.
Then the parrot replied "I don't know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch."

/its-time-to-go-to-school

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"
"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!"
/loving-money-too-much

There was a man who liked money very much. He worked all of his life and wanted to save all of his money for his own future. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything.
Even, just before he died, he said to his wife; "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife." So he asked his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.
Well, one day, he really died. Then he was stretched out in the casket. The wife was sitting there in black clothes next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait just a minute!"
She had a box in her hands. She came over with the box and placed it in the casket. After that the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away. Not long after that, her friend said, "I hope you were not crazy enough to put all that money in the casket."
The wife turned to her friend and replied; "Yes, because I have promised." Then she continued; "I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him." Feeling shocked, her friend said; "You mean that you have put every cent of his money in the casket with him?" Then the wife answered; "Surely I did. I got it all together, put all the money into my account and I just wrote him a check."

/that-phone-is-off
Soon after he left college, Dave found one of his uncles who was very rich and had no children of his own died and left him a lot of money, so he decided to set up his own real estate agency.
Dave found a nice office. He bought some new furniture and moved in. he had only been there for e few hours when he heard someone coming toward the door of his office.
“It must be my first customer” Dave thought. He quickly picked up the telephone and pretended to be very busy answering an important call from someone in New York who wanted to buy a big and expensive house in the country.
The man knocked at the door while this was going on. He came in and waited politely for Dave to finish his conversation on the phone. Then the man said to Dave; “I am from the telephone company and I was sent here to connect your telephone”
/saved-by-stilts
The king wanted to test Abu Nawas’ smartness. So he invited Abu Nawas to the palace. “You want me, your Majesty?” greeted Abu Nawas. “Yes, you have fooled me three times and that’s too much. I want you to leave the country. Otherwise you will have to go to jail” said the king. “If that is what you want, I will do what you said” said Abu Nawas sadly. Then “Remember, from tomorrow you may not step on the ground of this country anymore” the king said seriously. Then Abu nawas left the king palace sadly.
The following morning the king ordered his two guards to go to Abu Nawas’ house. The guards were very surprised found Abu Nawas still in his house. He had not left the country yet. Instead leaving the country, Abu Nawas was swimming in small pool in front of his house. “Hey Abu Nawas, why haven’t you left this country yet? The king ordered you not to step on the ground of this country anymore, didn’t he?” said the guards. “Sure he did” answered Abu Nawas calmly. “But look at me! Do I step on the ground of this country? No, I do not step on the ground. I am swimming on the water” continued Abu Nawas.
The guards were not able to argue with Abu Nawas so they left Abu Nawas’ house and went back to the palace. The guards reported what they had seen to the king. The king was curious on Abu Nawas’ excuse not to leave the country. Therefore the king ordered his guard to call Abu Nawas to come to the palace.
Abu Nawas came to the palace on stilts. The king wondered and said “Abu, I will surely punish you because you haven’t done what I have said. You have not left this country”. The King continued “And now, look at you. You walk on stilts like a child. Are you crazy? The king pretended to be furious.
“I remember exactly what you said, Your Majesty” Abu Nawas answered calmly. “This morning I took a bath in the small pool in my house so that I had not to step on the ground. And since yesterday, I have been walking on this stilts. So you see, Your Majesty, I do not step on the ground of this country”. The king was not able to say anything.
nasreddins-coat
One day Nasreddin had been invited to the dinner party. He went to the party by wearing old clothes.
When he arrived in the party, nobody looked at him and nobody gave him a seat. He got no food in the party so he went home and change his clothes
Next he put on his best clothes. He wore his newest coat and went to the party again. The host at once got up and came to meet him. The host offered him the best table and gave him a good seat and served him the best food
Nasreddin sat and put off his coat. He put his coat and said; “Eat the food, Coat!” the hosts and guests were very surprised and asked Nareddin; “What are doing?” Nasreddin replied calmly; “When I came here with my old clothes, nobody looked at me. Then I went home and put on my best clothes. I came back in my newest coat and you all give me this best food and drink. So, you give food to my coat instead of me”. Getting Nasreddin's answer, they just shook the head.

penguin-in-park
Once a man was walking in a park when he across a penguin. He took it to a policeman and said; "What should I do?" The policeman replied; "Take it to the zoo!".
The next day, the policeman saw the man in the same park. The man was still carrying the penguin. The policeman was rather surprised and walked up to the man and asked; "Why are you still carrying the penguin? Didn't you take it to the zoo?" The man replied; "I certainly did. And it was a great idea because the penguin really enjoyed it. So, today I am taking it to the movie".
Last week I took my five-year old son, Willy, to a musical instrument store in my hometown. I wanted to buy him a set of junior drum because his drum teacher advised me to buy him one. Willy likes listening to music very much. He also likes asking me everything he wants to know. Even his questions sometimes seem precocious for a boy of his age. He is very inquisitive.

He s not Phil Collin
We went there by car. On the way, we saw a policeman standing near a traffic light regulating the passing cars and other vehicles. He blew his whistle now and then.
Seeing the policeman blowing his whistle, Willy asked me at once, “Dad, why is the policeman using a whistle, not a drum?”
Hearing his unexpected question I answered reluctantly, “Because he is not Phil Collin!”

Al Brown
Al Brown was very good at fixing things around the house when they broke. One day he went to another city to do some work there, and his wife was alone in the house. While Mr. Brown was away, one of the faucets on the bathtub broke. Mrs. Brown didn’t know much about fixing broken faucets, so she telephoned a plumber.
The plumber came to the house that afternoon and fixed the faucet in few minutes. When he finished, he gave Mrs. Brown his bill for the work.
She looked at it for several seconds and then said, “Your prices are very high, aren’t they? Do you know, the doctor costs less than this when he comes to the house?”
“Yes, I know,” answered the plumber.” I know that very well, because I was a doctor until I was lucky enough to find this job a few months ago.”